Mark Dantonio Isn't Afraid Of Chicken

Mark Dantonio Isn't Afraid Of Chicken

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Mark Dantonio Isn't Afraid Of Chicken

Some coaches think chicken is a “nervous bird” and, therefore, shouldn’t be eaten.  Like other sane human beings, Mark Dantonio does not have negative thoughts about chicken.

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After Michigan State’s practice on Thursday, Shawn Windsor of the Detroit Free Press asked Spartan head coach Mark Dantonio a reasonable question – reasonable, that is, under the circumstances that have become ridiculous due to the circus clown coach down the street.

“Do you like chicken?”

Dantonio smiled and said, “Yes.”

And that was, pretty much, that.

In case you’re late to this part of the circus, some head football coaches tell players not to eat chicken because chicken is a nervous bird and will make them nervous.

And, while that sounds absurd (because it is, in fact, absurd), the coach who said this to at least one player truly believes this.

“He thinks some type of sickness injected its way into the human population when people began eating white meats instead of beef and pork,” Speight, now at UCLA, told Bleacher Report. “And he believes it, 100 percent.”

Here’s a link to more about this the mindset of the coach to whom we’re referring –

https://www.si.com/college-football/2018/07/30/jim-harbaugh-eating-chicken-michigan-football-players-nervous-bird

What does PETA have to say about this?

When a football player is sitting in his team’s locker room or in a team meeting of some sort and he’s saying to himself, as is quoted in the piece in the link above, “You’ll be sitting there talking to him, and you’re thinking, What the hell is this guy talking about? Is this real life?”, is that a good thing?

I coach a Little League baseball team and I say this to the kids before every game:

“Whatever you young men do tonight after this ball game, do not, under any circumstances, eat any potatoes.  Potatoes grow out of the ground and there are goblins in the ground that came to the earth thousands of years ago from a far-away planet called Monjubi and these goblins are committed to pumping poison into the bloodstream of the human race and these Monjubian goblins have chosen potatoes as their poison distribution agent. These goblins almost wiped out the entire Irish race with the potato famine and they are determined to eventually wipe out the entire human race by continuing to fill up potatoes with poison.  So, do not eat potatoes – and, feel free to laugh this off as silliness and me being a kook.  Just don’t come to me and complain when you’re in the hospital and the doctor has told you that you have six weeks to live because you ate too many poison-injected potatoes that the underground goblins strategically contaminated…”

The kids all love me for being a fun and eccentric coach.

Yes, we have finished the last three seasons in 3rd, 3rd, and 4th place in the La Canada Mustang Yellow Division – but it’s not a matter of “if” we end up winning the championship, it’s a matter of “when” we win the championship.

And every one of the players on the team has made a commitment to avoiding potatoes of all kinds at all costs.

They no longer eat mashed potatoes, french fries, baked potatoes, sweet potatoes, hash brown potatoes, au gratin potatoes, roasted potatoes, and scalloped potatoes.

This team of mine is a lock to win the championship next summer.

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