March Madness Has Gone Mad In Wake of FBI Probe
Why spend time vexing over whether State will be a victim of the probe? Spend your time reveling in these far more important topics…
The FBI is quite busy these days.
They’ve managed to bifurcate their resources – over there, they handle foreign powers determined to bring our democracy to its knees; over there, they handle the seedy and shadowy miscreants who deliver duffle bags filled with dirty cash to teenaged high school basketball players.
What is your company’s Senior Marketing Manager going to do when she finds out that the March Madness office pool has to focus on the PGA Tour due to a void of college basketball teams eligible for play in the nation’s annual gambling ring?
While we all contemplate the cratering of the college basketball universe as we know it, how do we manage? How do we envision a future that includes any fun related to following the Spartans on the court? What can we do to make March still full of Madness?
For Spartans, there are options galore:
- Celebrate the Cyclotron.
- Work together to figure out what a “kiva” actually is.
- Stage a march on campus for the purposes of demanding that the courts at IM Circle be swept more than once every decade since the dust buildup is a series of lawsuits waiting to happen.
- Work with the Google, YouTube, and iTunes people to get at least one song by The Hannibals to exist in a format that allows for us to integrate the tune onto our devices. Push to have the one tune be “One Grateful Thing.”
- Organize campus walks, campus sit-ins, campus listening sessions, and campus safe spaces all designed to bring forth efforts that lead to the finding of and then the proper returning of King Swami.
- Create a foundation and/or non-profit group that has the mission to educate the nation that there is a substantial difference between the towns “Lansing” and “East Lansing.” Utilize resources to craft guerrilla marketing strategies and social media initiatives that spell out the reality that it’s actually quite easy to understand that the two towns are, indeed, two different places, For one thing, the names of the towns are different. “Lansing” and “East Lansing” are, in fact, two names of two towns that are not the same.
Additionally, if people continue to be challenged with the issues at hand, allocate a majority of the resources for the overall project to emphasize to people that one of the towns (“Lansing”) has one, single word in it’s name and the other town (“East Lansing”) has two distinct words in it’s name. Integrate the citizenries of towns that face similar challenges – i.e. seek best practices used by the peoples of Indianapolis and Minneapolis since they must have to deal with similar word confusion issues regularly.
- Identify the architect of the parking structure just off of East Grand River that has all of the different colored tube-like building accoutrements and ask that architect if he or she was suffering from insanity when he or she designed the facade of the parking structure. Then speak with the individuals at the East Lansing zoning commission who were responsible for approving the structure and its design and ask them if they, too, were suffering from insanity when they green lit the project.
- Gather several friends and get a table at Crunchy’s. Set a timer for four hours, Before those four hours expire, identify the two games that kept George Perles’s football program from reaching two additional Rose Bowls. And, no – this is not a fraudulent exercise.
- After those four hours have come and gone, move on to this topic: name the game and the circumstances during the John L. Smith Era that indirectly led to the sealing of John L. Smith’s fate and the subsequent ushering in of the Mark Dantonio Era. Give yourself one hour on the timer for this one.
- Discuss the greatness of The Bagel Fragel.